Keel? There's a keel?

I really won't be unhappy to see the back end of this week! I did too much, I felt too much, and now I’m just plain exhausted. Done. But it is my Brilliant Plan to drag myself up by my boot straps ... and maybe even call Dell!

Balance is hard to find at the best of times, particularly for me. Actually, both kinds of balance can be a problem. (Medical professionals have actually told me not to climb up stepladders or stools even to change light bulbs—which is kind of hard if you are the only biped in your household and you top out at almost 5’. It is even more difficult if you happen to live with an arboreal lizard.) In the other sense of the word, it is really easy for me to get overwhelmed.

Almost 18 years ago I was crossing the street at a green light when a red pickup truck went around cars stopped at the red, hit me from the wrong side of the road and kept going. Believe me, nobody understands better than I how lucky I am just to be here. To walk and talk and live my life. But my motto has become "Nothing is ever simple or easy!", although I do try to say it with a smile on my face!

The right side of my face met the grill of the truck, estimated to be travelling at 60-80 kph. I flew 15-20 feet, and bounced on the left side of my backside. The orbit of my right eye fractured badly, my nose along with it (but it didn't get pushed backwards an inch or so), my upper jaw shattered, and I had a head injury. I had multiple pelvic fractures, broken bones in my back, and too much soft tissue damage to mention save to say my left sacroiliac joint (where your back, hip and pelvis come together) blew apart on impact (although it took us three years to figure that one out!).

When I woke up I had a vague feeling something was off with the way I was thinking. It was embarassing to use the wrong words. But I was full of morphine. Medical professionals chalked it up to that, and to pain. It was my plastic surgeon who realized there was a real problem. Apparently we had the same rather heated discussion more than once—and he was the only one who remembered it! Things like that still happen, although less so, mostly because I lead a more sheltered life.

When I get tired, all the head injury symptoms that have been lurking in the background jump on the opportunity to present themselves. The word finding problems, the concentration issues, the complete memory lapses, the increased emotionality ... they're always there, but sometimes they are pretty well camoflauged. Not just now.

That's the kind of week it's been this week. The sudden and unexpected passing of Auntie Ely, ongoing computer issues, distress for a friend whose job situation changed suddenly, the pace of agreeing to do too much but feeling like the social commitments are important (and they are). But once again, I find myself searching for that elusive thing called balance!

If you find it will you let me know where it's been hiding?

A little later on I think I'll go look in the pool ...